When you Thought

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you start to laugh,
    and I wanted to laugh too.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you standing alone,
    and I wanted to stand with you.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you shed a tear,
    and I started crying too.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you stare at me,
    and I was glad to get your attention.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I noticed you began to care,
    and I had already been caring for you.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw the ambulance take you away,
    and I wanted to die inside because you were gone.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw them place you in the ground,
    and I realized that I lost the good I found in you.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw everyone begin to cry,
    and I just sat and wondered why you chose to die.

By Kim

It's raining again today
In the skies as well as in my heart
Tears keep pouring from my eyes
Like the rain from the skies
I'm so sad that we have to be apart
I need you here with me
To take away all of my sadness
To know you're here forever and always
It's so hard for me to understand
Why the same faith that brought you to me
Decided to take you away
You filled my life with joy and happiness
But something happened and went so wrong
Now I'm left hopelessly alone
I saw your body
Laid out to rest
You had died
I couldn't bring myself to go to you
I saw a word upon a page I read 
And realized it's something I'm not meant to have
Through teary eyes I read "best friend."
Somehow, someway, someday
I will show the world how much
You meant to me.

Love Always, Amanda
In Loving memory of Laura Marie Vazquez

My Angel

By: Nicole M.

Angels, Angels all over
wondering all around me
Of course all Angels are special
to each person they touch but I 
have a very special angel
An Angel just for me
She has a heart of gold and
a smile which lights up the darkest room
She has this special way about her that makes
you feel so special and loved
My angel is very close to me 
Closer than any other
angels around

My Angel's name is Jennie and she is my Grandma

I miss you

Why did you have to leave? 
Why did you have to go? 
and leave me here missing you so. 
I remember your smile, your hugs, your touch. 
The memories bring back so much. 
the good,the bad,the great the sad 
Things i can never forget. 
There's an emptiness inside my heart 
that grows bigger, and bigger by that day. 
I wish it wouldn't have happened this way. 
I hear your voice in my head, my ears, 
the pain is too much and I feel like you're near. 
How can I go on knowing your not there? 
the pain...the hurt..its too much to bear. 
It still hasn't hit me 
i still dont believe 
that somone i love can so quickly leave. 
Why was it you? why not me? 
You're everything i could've hoped to be 
you were my friend, my sister forever, 
and your memory shall leave me never. 
I finish with one thing and that will be...

I LOVE U DEAR JESSE..AND REST IN PEACE
-Rosie Hawley , written in memory of her cousin Jesse

A Picture of You

A picture of you,
With a well loved possession,
Your Les Paul Guitar,
Lavished with affection.
Bright lights flashing,
Your music is roaring,
You’re long missed voice,
beautifully soaring.
This, is where you belong!
Here with me, and your favourite song.
Dressed in your band clothes, up on the stage,
- a cherished memory, never to fade.
And now, a dusty black case,
that you built with care,
holds a forgotten guitar, 
In a cupboard upstairs.
Your fingers no longer run it’s strings,
It hasn’t been touched this year,
I cant bear to see it, out of your arms,
I try, but it only plays on my tears.
Deep sadness upon me,
I wonder, where you are,
And are you lonely there Dad,
Without your guitar?

written in memory of my loving father, and best friend, Richard Guazzelli, who died May 12, 2000
by Nicola Guazzelli, Scotland.

(note to Nicola: we at Teen Grief tried to e-mail you to acknowlege your poem, but keep getting the e-mail back. Could you e-mail us again? Thank you.)

The following three poems were written by Christie, in memory of her dad, Harvey Morris, who died in July 1999, at the age of 34.

Those Last Thirty Words

" I love you sweetheart, very much and your my little girl remember that. 
Be good for your mother won't you, love you, I have to go now.  Bye sweetheart"

These are the last words you said to me before you were taken away.
Never thought you'd leave this early, and I never thought you'd leave that way.

I never got to tell you how i felt because I thought I had plenty of time to tell you just 
how I felt.

Never thought I would cry so much, nore feel all this pain.
Now I know life will never and couldn't ever be the same.

Thirty words may not mean alot to many, but those last thirty mean everything to me, 
because I thought this would never be.

When I was told that you were gone, I thought it was just a bad dream, 
this could not be happening to me.

I found you, you my guardian angel whom I thought would never leave me 
until you grew old and grey.
I thought your life would never end that way.

Now your'e gone, I miss you so much.
I need a kiss, a hug and to feel your touch.

I know that what you loved and dreamed of might have taken you, and I accepted that.
and everytime I close my eyes, I see your smiling face, as I know you left doing 
what you loved.

That night on the phone, you were talking to me, cheering me up.
I can lay here, sit here, and hear your voice in the wind softly 
saying...

" I love you sweetheart, very much and your my little girl remember that. 
Be good for your mother won't you, love you, I have to go now.  Bye sweetheart"

The Day You Went Away

I woke up to a scream, it woke me from my dreams.
I saw tears roll down her face, that's when I knew you had gone to a better place.
It made me cry, to feel such pain, knowing I would never see you again.
My heart was broken, shattered in two, I was left standing there thinking, 
how could God take you too.
When the final day came to say good bye, I held her she held me and we begin to cry.
Everything is going to be ok, that's what they say.
What would they know they can't feel my pain.
Why did he take you, and why did he casue all this pain knowing he would hurt us all,
 the day you went away.

A Little Girls Last Prayer

I slide down on my knees and I begin to pray.
That I will get the answers that I ask today.
I have so many questions, but can they be all answered.
If God is such that man, that one person makes him out to be.
Why did he take you away from me?
IF he knew of that pain he would cause, and the tears that we would cry.
Why was he so mean to let you go away and die?
Is it nice in heaven, is it such a place.
Or is it full of flying souls with no names to their face?
Are you alright, I know your watching over me.
Because one day together we will be.
I hope that you wait, right beside that gate.
Because you are my Daddy, my angel from above and now forever my mate.
I think my prayer is done.
As I bless myself with my right thumb.

I miss you, I love you Daddy. From your Little Girl;
Chrissy
Amen

Alonso

I had you in my life
now I just have you in my heart and soul
everyday I ask my self why you had to go 
my best cousin had to be so selfish and take all I had away from me
Now I am living life alone
when you were laying there I was scared
crying for help but nobody bothered to care
I had your blood all on my hands,  but I did not care because someone shot my man,  
right in back of the head and now you are dead.
so now you are gone I do not know how to move on 
Today it is a year and twenty eight days that you have been gone 
but it seems like a yesterday
that is why it is hard to move on.

Palomita

Alonso

She woke up late that morning 
Not knowing how the day would end,
She showered, got ready, had breakfast
Went to school with her friend.

She hurried to her first period
Took her seat in the back of the class,
She didn’t know the test she took
That day would be her last.

She hadn’t studied the night before
But it didn’t bother her at all,
She didn’t care for schoolwork
She much more preferred the mall.

When school let out that evening
She was grateful the day was done,
She thought of what to do that night
It was time to have some fun.

She opened the door into her house
And tried to stay out of sight,
She avoided seeing her mother
For she knew they would only fight.

She snuck into her room
With her cordless phone in hand,
She called her friend Amanda
To see if she had anything planned.

Amanda had received her license 
A mere three days before,
She now had a sense of freedom
That she didn’t have before.

But she didn’t fully understand
The consequences of her decisions she would make,
And on that dreadful, snowy night
A life our God would take.

They always said that driving drunk 
Is something not to do,
But they never said that reckless driving
Is just as deadly too.

A honk outside rang in her ear
As she bolted for the door,
Amanda was waiting impatiently 
With the brake pressed to the floor.

She grabbed her coat and was ready to go
When her mother yelled her name,
“Where do you think your going, Laura?
Oh well...it’s all the same.”

The snow was falling hard that night
It was dangerous to drive,
But speeding fast behind the wheel
Made Amanda feel more alive.


They made it halfway home that night
Until Amanda dared to pass,
Another car going that was going much “too slow”
And that final sight was Lauras’ last.

If only she had time to realize
The things she left behind
In those few seconds of chaos
Friends, and family would be on her mind.

The only thing I take with me
Now that she’s no longer here
Is traces of her in my heart
And the thought she will always be near.

In Loving Memory of Laura Marie Vazquez-
October 10, 1985-January 19, 2000

WHEN YOU WERE HERE

When you were here we'd laugh and play,
We had so much fun with you all day.
You cheered us up when we were sad,
Yu made us glad wehn we were mad.
Then one day you went away,
We made cards all that day.
For it was your birthday!
Who could forget?
Then came knocking at the door,
You had gone to see the Lord.
We miss you so, you meant so much,
You went to Heaven and that's what counts.

by Amber Schaer (age 11) February 10/2002
In memory of her dad who died in January 1998

TRUST

Who can I trust??
Who will it be?
I already know,
I can only trust me.

I can’t trust my friends,
Not anymore,
Cuz it hurt me so much
When I did it before.

I try to smile
Even when I feel empty inside
I won’t let my pain show
I’ll always hide

I never reveal my pain
Its as though I’m hiding under a mask
It never comes off
I won’t reveal my painful past

Im scared if I do
I’ll start to give into trust
And I know it won’t be real
It’s really just lust

Love is a game
That fools always play
Until they get hurt
Then they won’t feel the same way

Thoughts are now hostile
Hearts go broken
Tears are cried,
Words left unspoken.

Time goes by
And u start learn
Trust isn’t something u just give away
Trust is something u earn

by Angel

I Waited

I waited and waited for you to arrive 
I thought you were  coming that sixth of July
I had made plans just for me and for you 
but who knew that they would never come true.
why, why, why, was it you why did that drunk driver 
  have to run into you. 
Our future was shattered so many memories that would have been made, 
are now down the drain. 
I prayed and prayed that you would come back
even though I new that I would never see you again
but maybe one day we will be together again.

submitted by Javier Hernandez

A special Friend

Your smile was so special
you smiled everyday,
it made you kind of special
in your own little way.

I always loved your cuddles
they made me feel so loved
you used to sing to me
when I was feeling sad.

You laughed at all my jokes
and listened when I cried
and when I got the flu
you were always by my side.

I felt sad and lonely
and my heart ripped in two
but now everytime I smile
I'm smiling back to you.

by Emma Falconer, in memory of her grandma

A tribute to Mark

A young child dies in his father’s arms,
Free from pain and safe from harm,
People around sit in silence and cry,
Asking God why did this child die.
The reason to why we may never know,
But perhaps in time that reason may show.
Even though in spirit we are far apart,
He will always remain in our hearts.
As he’s taken up through the Golden Gates,
I hope he never forgets this place.
And the people who loved him so much,
Also the people who’s lives he’s touched.
We should think about all the good times we had,
And try not to think about times that are sad.
Now he has gone through the Golden Gates,
To find in heaven his final resting place.

by Beth Leigh Ann Klinger